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A saint near death writes in his will, commenting on his efforts to glorify God:
But alas! The desire which I have had, and the zeal, if so it must be called, has been so cold and so sluggish that I feel myself a debtor in everything and everywhere, and that, were it not for his infinite goodness, all the affection I have had would be but as smoke, nay, that even the favors which he has accorded me would be render me so much more guilty; so that my only recourse is this, that being the Father of mercies he will show himself the Father of so miserable a sinner.
One may marvel at the professed humility of such a saint, John Calvin, but unwittingly continue to regard these comments by Calvin as a wonderful sounding example of pious language on the part of a great Christian man. But, this falsifies what the man is teaching in his final witness! Because his example of real humility is not taken seriously, our own desires for greatness are not exposed as sin, and our own path to greatness is not revealed.
In fact, if Calvin's own self-image near death were ours now, then we would be more like him. At the end of our lives, we should hope, like Calvin, to have finally achieved the true vision of our own humility and weakness -- and therefore to have finally rested in total reliance on the Grace of God.
What a goal! A self-vision like this is a judgment on the idols of personal glory. It is a real hope, that having learned obedience through suffering in the cause of Christ, we may in the end recline on our death beds, in the arms of Christ, and be carried by his grace to glory -- the glory reserved for those who rest on his finished work, and not their own.
