Marriage Rights versus Married Love

In 1 Cor 9 and 10, the Apostle is concerned to address the Corinthian habit of expressing their Christianity in terms of "rights."  And, the context will show that he is not opposed to respecting the rights, and especially the moral sensitivities and weaknesses, of others. It is living by one's own rights, regardless of the effect on others, that the Apostle regards as un-Christian and dangerous.

He points out that though "rights" have their place, they are not an absolute, and the real Christian life is motivated by love and not by "rights."  He goes on in those chapters to speak of this at length.  Furthermore, he points out at the end of chapter 9 that he keeps his body under, disciplining himself lest he be cast away even though he has preached to others.  Clearly, he sees that an emphasis on "rights" (for oneself) can lead not only away from ministry opportunity (which depends on the sacrifice of rights), but can lead to the loss of ministry -- or worse.

As an example, consider marriage "rights."

The Lord sometimes ordains a degree of celibacy between married couples (apart from disability) as a consequence of poor spiritual fellowship between the spouses, even when his own word makes that celibacy ill-advised (1 Cor 7:1-5).  Our Lord has the sovereign right to ordain this, and we must accept it, and pray.  This hopefully may have the effect of revealing to our own hearts how much our relationship to our spouses is based on ideas of our own rights instead of on love.  The “love” that we give to our spouses, if we do, could be an ulterior motive. 

However, if we begin to actually love our spouses, even in celibacy, we may begin to see this kind of estrangement resolve, given enough time.  From creation, the marriage union was designed to be a union of persons through love, and the body was given to provide a means for the expression of that love and to promote the welfare of that personal union.

Marriage was never designed to be a tool by which to satiate our flesh or to manipulate our spouses.